august whammy

oh oh
august is here.
whaddya know
the X month.
the dreaded time in every hound's life.
ok, cool it.
there's no use hyperventilating.


Dr. Joseph, the dude vet
once told my keeper
about the dreaded month of august
where all sorts of thingamajig
attack hounds like us!

drJ based this observation
from the cases brought to his clinic.
come to think of it
the only time i got sick
was in august years ago!?!

i remember that time
because that was when
the houndsinheaven had mange!
the scene was too gory
like straight out of a horror flick:
the black hounds were scratching like mad
until you see blood oozing out to reveal
ghastly sore flesh and balding body
after all that heavy shedding. yech!

the keeper was distraught.
she mustered her healing energies
begged for herbs, potions,
called on all the gods and goddesses
to no avail . . .


but when drJ took one look at it
he prescribed with authority: "program"
what sophistry!
the program is a series of shots
administered weekly for a month
to relieve and cure mange.
it worked like magic!
in a week, the black hounds stopped scratching.
week 2: the sores dried.
week 3: new furs started sprouting
like fresh grass after the rain.
week 4: hounds back to normal!



behold, the program!
this time, the keeper's chants & brew
lost to the miracle of drugs!


but that was almost two years ago
and since then we always watch out
for august dread. just in case . . .
keeper goes poking around our furs,
kennels and surroundings
fumigating us with her incense and bells
and probably giving us asthma
and ear ache for a change!


drJ's warning must have inspired other august dread.
i heard keeper say the other day
that her friend will postpone
moving to her new house
scheduled this august
because somebody said
it is the "ghost month"!
omigosh, should that scare me?
itsy-bitsy month and now what-
a ghost month?!?
does that mean that i'll be seeing
the 'white lady'? mwa-ha-haw. . .

to add to the toxic scene
keeper said that planet mars
will get close to earth
and will be visible all of august.
it would appear like two moons
in the sky at midnight.

frankly, i'm bored.
not another full moon specter.
it is not enough that i have to stay
with my keeper when she takes
her monthly 'full-moon bath'
but now i'll be keeping her company
at midnight and suffer the pesky mosquitoes!

sweepy, this is a once in a lifetime thing!
the next time this happens we won't be around to witness it!

and by those charming words
my boring fate is sealed.
i guess i'll just take refuge in knowing
that the next time another planet
comes to cuddling near earth
i would have reincarnated
into a witch shaman,
keeper of the hounds. . .

The War in Heaven

I remember a time in heaven
when all the hounds can roam free
at all hours of the day . . .


We would sleep in our own beds
in our own fluffy pillows and rugs
or on any surface of choice:
the rough pebble-washout floors,
the smooth marble-topped garden table
or its metal chair or the wooden rocking chair
or on top of cotton rugs lying around . . .

Or, we would huddle close together
for warmth and comfort . . .

At the strike of danger or intruders
we would leap on all four paws . . .

and run wild around heaven sniffing for danger
and practically enjoying the chasing and running.
We loved the sense of daring, courage and freedom
of the Good Old Days . . .


The Good Old Days ended
when the three male houndsinheaven
competed for the only female hound.
It was a disaster and the kennels came.
No more roaming around freely.
We go by schedule and it gets ugly
when the keeper has to go somewhere
which means that one of the hounds
will stay in the kennel while Keeper's away!

But it's OK since this arrangement affects only the black hounds (er, I belonged to the brown hounds so I'm pretty safe). The two black hounds could get bloody gory when they fight so the keeper decided they would be safe when they are kept in their kennels. I swear I saw fats accumulating as bulge since the black hounds were confined in their kennels . . .

On days when my mumsy Pica (the lone female houndsinheaven) goes "on heat" which is roughly every seven months, Keeper would tearfully pack Pica's stuff to send her on vacation to God Almighty, a petshop owned by Keeper's friend. God Almighty accommodates Pica as a boarder for around two weeks. This was done since the mere smell of Pica makes the three male houndsinheaven uncontrollable and wild. Keeper said it is the male hounds who are 'on heat' and not the other way around. I agree.

As the 'baby in the brood' I was considered the safest until I fought with my popsy Sumo and experienced the wrath of the black houndsinheaven! Believe me it was like all the bloody, action movies you've ever seen put together! I was bloodied for the day while Sumo has no single bite! Well no wonder my big brother Bogart (the other black hound) seemed to regard our popsy Sumo as Danger with a capital D! Sumo's red flaming eyes makes one think of Death and the number of killed and maimed intruders in heaven: cats, dogs, birds, even leaves! whatever - bear witness (dead witnesses, sigh!) of Sumo's deadly wrath!


Fast Forward: Now
After most of the hounds have come and gone
Keeper finally settled on four hounds.
She has no choice because mumsy Pica
would practically give birth every year!
And if Keeper kept all of us intact
we would be around thirty plus OR MORE!

We have limited our keeper's resources
her time, energy, funds and attention.
We have practically kidnapped our keeper for life
just to care for four unruly but lovable hounds!


Keeper knows but she has no regrets.
At least that's what we tell ourselves.
So now, after the heat wave of summer
we spend our days inside our kennels
watching the rains and storms pass
while cuddled in our fluffy pillows
wishing and waiting for our romp time . . .

Heaven is pretty uncool in July.
And I bask in its mush. . .