The War in Heaven

I remember a time in heaven
when all the hounds can roam free
at all hours of the day . . .


We would sleep in our own beds
in our own fluffy pillows and rugs
or on any surface of choice:
the rough pebble-washout floors,
the smooth marble-topped garden table
or its metal chair or the wooden rocking chair
or on top of cotton rugs lying around . . .

Or, we would huddle close together
for warmth and comfort . . .

At the strike of danger or intruders
we would leap on all four paws . . .

and run wild around heaven sniffing for danger
and practically enjoying the chasing and running.
We loved the sense of daring, courage and freedom
of the Good Old Days . . .


The Good Old Days ended
when the three male houndsinheaven
competed for the only female hound.
It was a disaster and the kennels came.
No more roaming around freely.
We go by schedule and it gets ugly
when the keeper has to go somewhere
which means that one of the hounds
will stay in the kennel while Keeper's away!

But it's OK since this arrangement affects only the black hounds (er, I belonged to the brown hounds so I'm pretty safe). The two black hounds could get bloody gory when they fight so the keeper decided they would be safe when they are kept in their kennels. I swear I saw fats accumulating as bulge since the black hounds were confined in their kennels . . .

On days when my mumsy Pica (the lone female houndsinheaven) goes "on heat" which is roughly every seven months, Keeper would tearfully pack Pica's stuff to send her on vacation to God Almighty, a petshop owned by Keeper's friend. God Almighty accommodates Pica as a boarder for around two weeks. This was done since the mere smell of Pica makes the three male houndsinheaven uncontrollable and wild. Keeper said it is the male hounds who are 'on heat' and not the other way around. I agree.

As the 'baby in the brood' I was considered the safest until I fought with my popsy Sumo and experienced the wrath of the black houndsinheaven! Believe me it was like all the bloody, action movies you've ever seen put together! I was bloodied for the day while Sumo has no single bite! Well no wonder my big brother Bogart (the other black hound) seemed to regard our popsy Sumo as Danger with a capital D! Sumo's red flaming eyes makes one think of Death and the number of killed and maimed intruders in heaven: cats, dogs, birds, even leaves! whatever - bear witness (dead witnesses, sigh!) of Sumo's deadly wrath!


Fast Forward: Now
After most of the hounds have come and gone
Keeper finally settled on four hounds.
She has no choice because mumsy Pica
would practically give birth every year!
And if Keeper kept all of us intact
we would be around thirty plus OR MORE!

We have limited our keeper's resources
her time, energy, funds and attention.
We have practically kidnapped our keeper for life
just to care for four unruly but lovable hounds!


Keeper knows but she has no regrets.
At least that's what we tell ourselves.
So now, after the heat wave of summer
we spend our days inside our kennels
watching the rains and storms pass
while cuddled in our fluffy pillows
wishing and waiting for our romp time . . .

Heaven is pretty uncool in July.
And I bask in its mush. . .

askal again!

My keeper got peeved again.
She heard the no-no word again:
Askal.

In case you have not read the previous blahs my keeper is quite strict about the reference to the local dogs as askals (filipino lingo for "asong kalye" or strays). She’d rather refer to local dogs as pinoy hounds or mongrels to be precise (cross between hounds & terriers).

It isn’t as if the houndsinheaven would ever have the chance to stray and step on rainbow avenue. I have not stepped on the pavement of rainbow avenue since birth! The only time I left rainbow was when I was a puppy but I was carried by my keeper for a visit to DrJoseph, the vet. Not once did my paws got in contract with the streets! My callused paws have only known the rough pebble-washout floors and walls of heaven. ho-hum.

The houndsinheaven don’t take walks outside heaven. The houndsinheaven are not even trained to go on leash although we all wear our silver chain collars. We are not your usual ‘hounds’. We roam freely around heaven until two years ago when our keeper bought kennels for each of us. (This episode is known as The War which could be the topic of my next blah)

There is a federation of hounds down rainbow ave. Probably because of security problems every household seems to own a hound whose barking warns the whole rainbow hounds. The federation warn each other of just about anything: mailman, billing guy, newspaper boy, cable guy, vendors and strays. Yesh, indeed there are askals but not all askals are mongrels. My keeper spotted purebred strays who are either lost or those whose owners let loose after deciding they can not be taken cared of anymore!

I caught keeper holding back her tears when she sees askals roam the streets. She probably wanted to adopt them if she can. But she already have us, so she won't . . .

ah, rainbow, where art thou?

Rainbow is the main street
of a place whose streets are named after colors:
blueridge, greenmeadows, pinkrow, whatever . .
Pretty colorful and yummy for a street name
inhabited by colorful characters . . .

For my keeper,
Rainbow is such a convenient place
because one need not go far for munchies
or call for food delivery
because cheap and glorious munchies
passes by RainbowAvenue regularly.

I once thought I heard
a scandalously loud mobile phone ringtone
(they abound in these parts)
only to discover it was actually
a breadshop on wheels (bike mobile)!

Another bread vendor
passes by around siesta hour
with freshly baked buns
that goes ‘pot-pot’ in their bikes.
Ice cream dudes goes by another ringtone.
Coolers, ice candies, and arf, even toys!
There's a cartful of plastic toy doodads
that sells my keeper’s favorite collection:
cockroaches, lizards, spiders,
you name it, the toy guy has it!

Another fave is the plastic balloon vendor

which my keeper loves to blow till it pops
and scare the houndsinheaven for fun. . .

The trick to all these entrepreneurs
is the ubiquitous ringtone.
they are identified by their caller IDs.
My keeper would say:
“call me when the potpot guys come around”
(read: she wants hot buns for merienda)

There are those who have less capital
who sells on foot and invest in lung capital
to shout their homemade banana snacks
done several ways: fried in lumpia wrappers,
dipped in flour, or simply barbecued with sugar!
“turon, maruya, banana-cue!”
some compete by creating jingles like
“balut, balut, baluuuuut!” (duck’s eggs)

A guy

selling plastic containers calls out:
“batya, nagbabatya!” (water pails)

My keeper enjoys this daily parade, though.
her ears are forever trying to decipher
what goodies are being peddled down rainbow.

When Keeper hears a vendor shouting,
she goes: "parricide?"
Nope, that's "sapatos shine" (shoe shine)

Another vendor calls out and she goes:
"someone's dying?!?"
Nope, that's "daing" (salted fish)


One time she called out:
"someone's at the door"
when she thought she heard
"tao po" (anybody there?)
Nope, it's the "taho" guy (soy drink).


Ok, you name it,
the RainbowAve vendors has it:
tv antennaes, cold cuts, paintings, spices,
mattresses, clothes and pillows . . .

repair of sewing machines and typewriters
pawnbrokers, buyers of old coins,
old newspapers and recyclables . . .
My keeper pities them
that instead of selling she just donates
used bottles, plastic containers,
clothes and bags . . .

And while the global community is going wholesale
in Rainbow, small businesses are going big
selling small units of a whole (“tingi”) . . .
Sari-sari stores (garage-type variety store) sells ‘tingi’ of anything: soy sauce, soap, feminine napkins!
Manufacturers joined the fray and started selling sachets of anything: shampoo, coffee, dishwashing liquid . . .
One can easily buy SIM cards to load cellphones.
or dial-up cards for internet surfing.
Even a single roll of mosquito coils
(they sell 10 coils in a box)
will be accommodated by the store owner.
This must be hard on inventory
but these entrepreneurs are making big bucks
selling stocks fast than to worry about inventory.

RainbowAve is also littered with beauty parlors,
hardware stores, internet cafes, kerosene stop,
and a short walk away are veggie stoes,
fish and meat stalls, dressmakers, tattoo shop
all at practically half-price
than when one goes to town!

The laundrywoman who comes once a week
to do laundry and ironing at Heaven
has recently became an entrepreneur
by selling hot, home-cooked meals.
her daily gross sales: two thousand bucks a day!

My keeper’s eyes popped out in shock!
Keeper who does management consultancy
aside from her many enterprises
has barely broke even with her ideas.
"Hmmm, I think I'm missing out on something"
she mutters to me during grooming time.

Oh-oh, if she starts training me for entertainment
I’m out of here!

Itsy-Bitsy World

The houndsinheaven are restless.
Heaven is located in Rainbow Avenue
and Rainbow Ave is presently on d-day
(read: keep off that infected street, mind!)


Keeper calls it "itsy-bitsy" blues.
The vet DrJ calls it the 'danger month'.
Danger month is actually in August.
And August is just around the corner.
August is when all sorts of things
affect hounds like us . . .


My keeper is kindda praning (OC).
She loves to inspect our furs for anything.
Those itchy thingamajig flying and landing
on shiny black and brown furs are a big NO-NO.
Keeper use a double-sided fur brush
which is a guaranteed snooze gadget.

Once this brush hits your fur your eyes get droopy.
Believe me when I say that the gadget can put to sleep
any unsuspecting, drooling hounds like me. . .


This week, the keeper stood by Heaven's gate
watching the Rainbow scene . . .
Her disapproving look meant trouble.
The last time I saw her look that way
she scolded kids walking home from school
who she caught bullying the dogs across Heaven.


Keeper worries about hounds like us.
She confront owners who allow their hounds
to stray on the streets without a leash.
She called the attention of LGUs
(local government units) about strays
and to improper impounding of strays.


She also nags people about their pets.
She would constantly remind them
to have clean water available AT ALL TIMES
and to feed their pets at least twice a day.
Keeper won't think twice about feeding
other people's pet when she sees them hungry
or when abandoned by their abusive keeper
without food for the day.

Keeper won't let up.
She cites laws.
Watch out!


Well, this week she noticed some dogs with mange.
Keeper is keeping tabs of all the hounds passing by Heaven
and she finds the discovery pretty alarming.
According to my Keeper, mange is an easy thing to cure.
A little expensive but highly curable.

Keeper laments the fact that economy plays a big factor
in the proper maintenance of hounds like us.
The expense of putting pets like us into a program
that can help and cure us is not a priority
for most of the animal keepers these days.
Worse, abusive keepers let loose sick or dying pets
to roam and die on the streets!


For now, my keeper goes to her pyre
lights her incense and calls on the gods
to help cure and protect her beloved creatures.
The incense and her chanting is another
guaranteed snoozer.
I'm off to hit my pillows for some big time snooze.

heavenRocks

heaven rocks
heaven rolls
heaven is cool
heaven is my home. . .

There is something sacred
about the HoundsInHeaven.
Keeper said we are like blessings
brought to bring good cheers to Heaven!

Heaven is located along Rainbow Avenue
in the town of San Pedro (that's St. Peter!)
Down Rainbow Avenue is the Joseph and Mary Academy
where lived a boy named Peter John . . .
Our vet's name is Dr. Joseph
and the petshop where my mumsy Pica
goes on vacation when she's on heat
is called God Almighty!
And this is not just a coincidence.
Keeper said it is predestined . .

Heaven is a small cozy place
surrounded by trees and plants
and all sorts of transient beings
which provides a good exercise
for the houndsinheaven
who loves to bark and chase after
whatever and whoever. . .
And when this happens,
my keeper goes on a fit:

"Hey guys! No killing of cats and birds!"

When the keeper returns from her trip, she asks stupidly:

"Did anybody kill anybody while I'm gone?"

Pleez.

My keeper loves nature.
Apart from the houndsinheaven
she talks to birds, cats, frogs, ants
the plants, trees, stones, leaves,
and yes, even to the clouds!
She sits and soaks outside during full moons
as much as she soaks in the early rays of the sun.

Keeper calls it energy chargers.
The houndsinheaven adore her
because she communicates well with us
as she would all the annoying transient beings
that distract her attention away from us.
And that meant competing for her attention
especially when I needed to have
my belly rubbed before I snooze!


But Heaven is my keeper's sacred space . . .

Heaven is where her angels adorn practically every nook

where a sexy, smiling female Buddha reclines comfortably . .

and where Christ sits as king down the hall . . .

where bells and incense surround the siesta hour
and murmured prayers at dusk lull the holy hour

this daily ritual puts me on trance
as I stretch my furry self to sleep . . .

local dogs are not askals

My name is Sweepy . . .

I was such a sleepyhead when I was a puppy
but my keeper who believes in affirmation
refuses to call me sleepy, lest I do get sleepy for life!
And so instead, I was named Sweepy.

I look like a typical local dog
which is actually a mongrel
but in the country where I am staying,
I am referred to as an askal
(a filipino slang word for a stray dog) . . .

But I am not a stray
because I live in a place called Heaven
which is a cozy place down Rainbow Avenue
in the once sleepy town of San Pedro (St. Peter) . . .

Anything 'local' is considered inferior around here.
And that includes referring to the local ice cream
as "dirty ice cream" even if it is not dirty.
In Heaven, we refer to it as sorbetes
and my favorite flavors
are mango and ube with pinipig . .
Yummy!

I have a quirky keeper L
who prefers to call
all the four mongrels
living in Heaven,
her hounds
which is why we are called
HoundsInHeaven . . .
(did i hear thunder roll?)

A lot of local dogs look like me
and most were called bantay
literally meaning "to guard"
since that's what we normally do anyway.
But i do more than just bantay
together with the other
houndsinheaven
we love to play, eat and bark
at practically anything and anybody
that intrudes and innocently
passes by Heaven . . .
we are not called hounds for nothing.

However, L loves nature and animals
so we are not allowed
to hurt birds and cats!
We also enjoy a good nap
which can take the better part of the day
which is just about now!
So till next blah, arf!
welcome to my blog!